she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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