so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
