Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
