When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
