I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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