But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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