I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
