i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize