I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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