dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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