I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You took a bar mat shot.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
