you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
