ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
