I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize