they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
