So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
