Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
