i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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