That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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