The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
