i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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