is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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