You're completely useless in the revolution.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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