you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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