so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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