ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
