uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
