it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
