it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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