Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
