last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
