He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
