I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
