The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
