the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize