You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
