I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
