found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize