Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
