I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
