I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
