The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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