You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
