I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
