I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
