i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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