Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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