im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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