hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
