hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
