whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
