my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
