Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
is that a dick in a sweater?
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