I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
