They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
