Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
two words: eviction party
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
