im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
