Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
