He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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