gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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