ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
