Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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