so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
