I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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